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The Bravest Thing I Did When No One Was Watching
The bravest thing I have ever done was admit the truth about myself before I knew whether anyone else would accept it. There was no audience for that moment. No applause. No rainbow flags waving in celebration. No one stood beside me and promised that everything would be all right. There was only a mirror,…
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The Weirdest Coincidence I’ve Ever Experienced
People sometimes ask me this question at readings. What’s the strangest thing that’s ever happened to you, the kind of moment that makes you wonder if the universe is paying closer attention than we give it credit for? I used to give a polite, forgettable answer. Then I’d go home and think about the real…
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A Vacation in the Shire
If I could vacation in any fictional world, I would choose the Shire from The Lord of the Rings. I would not be interested in following Frodo into Mordor, confronting an army of Orcs, or helping Gandalf save Middle-earth. That sounds exhausting, and I have already fought enough battles in my own life. I would visit…
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I Would Sit on the Hillside and Listen to Jesus
If I could go back and witness any event in history, I would not choose the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the first steps on the moon, or the coronation of a monarch. I would travel to an unnamed hillside in Galilee and take my place among the crowd as Jesus taught what we…
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The Tattoo I Would Choose
If I had to get a tattoo right now, I would choose a rainbow butterfly. The butterfly may be one of the most familiar symbols of transformation, but that does not make it any less meaningful to me. A butterfly does not simply change its appearance. It enters a hidden place, surrenders the form it…
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The Best Restaurant in My City
If someone asked me to name the best restaurant in my city, I could recommend a fashionable bistro, an elegant steakhouse, or one of those hidden neighborhood places everyone guards like a secret. But lately, the best restaurant in my city is much closer to home. It is called Casa Grachek. Reservations are never required.…
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You Finally Became Yourself
If my future self could send me one sentence, I hope it would say: “You finally became yourself, and it was worth everything it took to get there.” I could ask my future self whether I became successful. I could ask whether my books were published, whether SŌL became everything I dreamed it might become,…
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The Subject That Could Change the World
If I could add one subject to every school curriculum, it would not be another language, an advanced technology course, or a lesson in personal finance—although all of those have value. I would teach kindness. Not kindness as a slogan printed on a classroom wall. Not kindness reduced to holding a door open, sharing crayons,…
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The Cost of Being Myself
I used to worry constantly about what would happen if people ever saw the whole of me. For much of my life, I believed love depended upon my ability to remain recognizable to others. I could be loved as long as I stayed within the boundaries people had drawn around me—as long as I played…
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My Favorite Quote
My favorite quote is one I return to whenever faith becomes tangled in rules, traditions, buildings, and arguments: “Jesus formed a community before Christianity built an institution.” Those words remind me of something the church can too easily forget. Before there were denominations, doctrinal statements, governing bodies, stained-glass sanctuaries, or theological degrees, there was simply…
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The Lost Art of Listening
What’s a skill I consider basic that most people don’t actually know how to do? Listening. Nearly everyone can hear, but very few people truly listen. Hearing is biological. Sound enters the ear, travels through the body, and registers in the brain. Listening is something deeper. It requires intention. It asks us to set aside…
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My Most Relatable Fictional Character
Prompt: Who Is the Fictional Character You Relate to the Most? There are louder heroes than Walter Mitty. There are men who save galaxies, detectives who solve impossible murders, wizards who defeat darkness, and warriors who charge into battle with swords raised toward the sky. None of them ever felt like me. Walter Mitty did.…
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Does Everything Happen for a Reason?
People ask the question as if they’re offering a warm blanket. “Do you think everything happens for a reason?” I understand why they ask it. We all want the universe to make sense. We want pain to fit neatly into a story whose ending redeems every ugly chapter. We want to believe that if we…
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What’s My Home Decoration Style?
People usually expect an answer measured in colors and furniture. “Mid-century modern.” “Farmhouse.” “Industrial.” “Minimalist.” I always smile when they ask because none of those answers feels entirely true. My home isn’t decorated according to a design magazine. It has been assembled the way a life is assembled—one heartbreak, one hope, one hard-earned lesson at…
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“I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born at All”
There is one lyric that has followed me through nearly every chapter of my life. “Mama, ooh… I don’t wanna die. I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” When I first heard Freddie Mercury sing those words in Bohemian Rhapsody, I didn’t hear melodrama. I heard recognition. For years, I carried those words like…
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A Promise Kept
People often ask what promise I’ve made to myself that I’ve actually kept. It isn’t one of the usual promises. It wasn’t to lose weight, save more money, exercise every day, or finally organize the garage. I’ve made all of those promises at one time or another, and like most people, I’ve kept some better…
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The Glove
I did not buy the glove with money. I bought it with patience. That is what nobody tells you about S&H Green Stamps. The store did not feel like a store. It felt like a vault of things you had already half earned. You walked in with a book, or two, or three, pages heavy…
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A Library in My Pocket
There is a moment every morning before the world begins making demands of me. The coffee is still too hot to drink. The house hasn’t quite decided whether it wants to be awake. Outside, Florida is already stretching toward another humid day, but inside there is only silence—the kind of silence that feels earned. I…
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A Movie That Inspired Me to Travel?
If I had to name one movie that inspired me to travel, it would be The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. On the surface, it’s a story about a quiet man who leaves his predictable life behind to search for a missing photograph. But beneath that simple plot is something much deeper. It’s a story about…
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If I Could Erase One Trend from History
There are plenty of trends I wouldn’t mind seeing disappear from history. Bell-bottoms. Avocado-colored appliances. Eight-track tapes that always seemed to eat themselves at the worst possible moment. Those make for fun conversations. But if I’m honest, there is only one trend I would truly erase. I would erase humanity’s habit of deciding that some…
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I Miss Typewriters
WRITING PROMPT: Which Outdated Technology Do You Miss the Most, and Why? Without hesitation, my answer is the typewriter. Not because it was more efficient. It wasn’t. Not because it was easier. It certainly wasn’t. I miss the typewriter because it made writing feel physical. There was something almost mystical about sitting before a blank…
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The Best Excuse
I have heard a lot of excuses in my life. As a parent, I heard excuses for missed curfews and unfinished homework. As a pastor, I’ve heard reasons people couldn’t forgive, couldn’t serve, couldn’t attend, couldn’t change. As someone who spent years in finance, I heard excuses for missed deadlines, poor investments, and broken promises.…
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The Mysterious Core
Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are? I don’t think it’s an either-or question. I think we are born with something unique inside us—a personality, a temperament, a soul that leans in certain directions long before we understand why. But life has a way of sculpting that person,…
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The Books I Keep Coming Back To
There is a saying that we don’t read great books only once—we read them as many times as there are versions of ourselves. I have found that to be true. The Bible will always be the book I have read more than any other. It has been my companion through seminary, ministry, marriage, parenting, grief,…
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I Never Stopped Being a Student
If there is one thing I hope people remember about me, it won’t be that I was a pastor. It won’t be that I wrote books or preached sermons or chaired committees or led churches through difficult seasons. I hope they remember that I never stopped learning. That may sound like an odd thing to…
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The Habit That Saved My Life
People ask me from time to time what habit has improved my life the most. They expect me to say walking every day. Or prayer. Or reading. Or writing. They expect something practical, something they can add to tomorrow morning’s routine. Those habits have all helped me. But the habit that changed everything was far…
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The Hard Years
I used to think the hardest years of my life were behind me. They were the years of hiding. The years of trying to become the person everyone else needed me to be. The years spent earning love, proving my worth, and convincing myself that if I could just be enough, I would finally belong.…
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The Sequel I Wish Existed: Kitchen Confidential, Twenty Years Later
I can confidently say that I would love to read a sequel to the Bible. The writing prompt was: “What book deserves a sequel?” I can’t use the word “deserve” when I talk about a sequel to the Bible. I would love to know what happens next, but I don’t deserve that kind of knowledge.…
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Ursula Was Right About Ariel
“Sometimes the villain isn’t the first person to create the problem. Sometimes she’s simply the first one willing to acknowledge it.” Disney has given us some of the most memorable villains in cinematic history. They are larger than life, deliciously theatrical, and impossible to forget. Yet beneath the songs, the sarcasm, and the sinister laughter,…
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What the Water Knows
I went to Flathead Lake every summer as a child. I did not know then what it was giving me. I only knew the water was cold enough to steal my breath and clear enough to see my own feet standing on the rocks below, and that the Mission Mountains stood over all of it…
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Survival Kits Are Not Future Plans
If I could tell my 20-year-old self one thing, it would be this: You are not who they think you are. I don’t mean that cruelly. The people around you love you as best they can. Your family sees a young man with a future. Your friends see someone intelligent and driven. The world sees…
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In Defense of Curiosity
“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” — Proverbs 25:2 There are many proverbs in Scripture that have shaped my life with wisdom, compassion, and truth. Proverbs 25:2 is not one of them. In fact, if I were asked to name a proverb…
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When Reality Split
The moment that made me question reality was not dramatic in the way movies portray it. There was no car accident, no voice from heaven, no sudden explosion of light. It happened quietly, almost invisibly, while I was sitting in a room full of people who believed they knew me. Someone laughed at something I…
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Strength is Not the Absence of Fear
Strength did not arrive in my life like a trumpet blast.It arrived quietly. Slowly. Almost invisibly at first. I think one of the moments that made me realize I was stronger than I thought was not when I stood in a pulpit preaching, or when I led churches through conflict, or even when I survived…
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A Queer Man Invented the Future
The most underrated person in history may be Alan Turing. Most people use computers every single day without realizing that much of the modern digital world exists because of his ideas. Long before laptops, smartphones, or artificial intelligence, Turing imagined a machine capable of processing instructions and solving problems through logic alone. His concept of…
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A Desire to Disappear
Some kids were obsessed with bicycles. Some with baseball cards, cartoons, or treehouses. Me? I was obsessed with hiding. Not hide-and-seek. Not the playful kind of hiding where someone counts to twenty while children laugh and scramble behind furniture waiting to be discovered. I mean real hiding. The kind where I did not want anyone…
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Democracy is Fragile
I vote because I believe silence is also a decision. For much of my life, I have watched people treat voting as if it were optional, as though democracy is a machine that somehow continues functioning without the participation of ordinary people. But I have lived long enough to know that every right people take…
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Living Your Truth
For much of my life, I believed the goal was stability. Build a life that works. Become dependable. Be respected. Be needed. Be good. I followed that blueprint carefully, almost reverently, the way a person follows a map they are too afraid to question. I became successful in the investment world. I became a pastor.…
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The Becoming Cost
For much of my life, I believed nervousness was weakness. I thought confidence meant certainty, composure, and control. I believed strong people walked into rooms without fear, spoke without hesitation, and carried themselves without trembling. But the older I have become, the more I have realized nervousness is often the evidence that something deeply important…
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SOCIAL MEDIA: The USING friend
Social media was supposed to be something I used. A tool. A platform. A way to connect, to share, to express. That is the story I told myself at the beginning. It felt empowering, almost noble. I could speak, and others could listen. I could listen, and others could speak. It felt like participation in…
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My Future Self
There was a time when the future felt like something I had to earn. As if one more year of doing the right things, saying the right things, being the right version of myself would finally grant me permission to arrive. I lived as though truth were a destination out ahead of me, somewhere just…
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Not Doing It
What’s the most fun way to exercise? I’ve heard people answer that question with a kind of breathless enthusiasm that makes me feel like I missed a memo somewhere. They talk about early morning runs as if the sunrise personally applauds them. They describe spin classes like they’re spiritual awakenings with better lighting. They use…
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Adapted to COVID
I did not adapt all at once. I adapted slowly, pastorally, and often while grieving. When the COVID-19 pandemic began, it did not arrive as a single disruption. It came as a series of losses. Sanctuaries went quiet. Hospital rooms became inaccessible. Funerals were reduced to a handful of masked faces standing far apart, trying…
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Authentically Unique
What makes a person unique is not found in a single trait, talent, or story, but in the deeply personal way all of those elements come together over time. Uniqueness is not something we achieve as much as it is something we uncover. It is shaped by experience, refined by struggle, and revealed most clearly…
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It’s The Least I Can Do
“It’s the least I can do.” We say it as if it is humility. As if it is virtue. As if it reflects some quiet, noble restraint. But beneath the surface, that phrase often reveals something far less admirable. It exposes a mindset that has quietly taken root in our culture, a mindset that calculates…
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Cozy Nap Weather
Living in South Florida, sunshine is not something you hope for—it is something you expect. It is the default setting of the sky, the steady backdrop of daily life. Morning after morning, the light arrives early and confidently, spilling through the windows with a kind of insistence that says the day has already begun, whether…
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A River Ran Through It
The older I get, the more time feels like water. Not the kind that rushes, loud and insistent, but the kind that moves quietly beneath the surface, carrying everything with it whether you’re ready or not. Memory works that way too. It doesn’t ask permission. It just returns you. And lately, it keeps taking me…
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When Authority Replaces Humility
Healthy leaders welcome feedback and accountability. They understand that no single person has all the answers and that the church benefits from collective discernment. In contrast, a narcissistic pastor might see criticism as a personal attack rather than a helpful input. When challenged, they could react defensively, shift blame, or label critics as disloyal or…
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Negative Feelings Do Not Win The Day
In many ways, writing has allowed me to tell the truth about my life. There are things I could not say out loud for years. There were fears I buried and griefs I pretended did not exist. But when I write, honesty becomes possible. I can say the things that once felt unspeakable. I can…
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For the Love of the Game
When I was young, the sport I loved was baseball. Not casually. Not as a pastime. I loved it the way you love something that gives you a place to put your energy, your anger, your hope. The way you love something that asks something of you and gives you just enough back to keep…
G R A C H E K
Dee Grachek is an author and Presbyterian pastor whose work explores faith, authenticity, identity, and hope through fiction, memoir, and spiritual writing.
Drawing on a life of ministry and personal transformation, Dee writes emotionally honest stories that invite readers to discover grace, courage, belonging, and the enduring power of unconditional love.
Dee is passionate about helping others find the courage to live authentically and discover a God whose love is wider than our fears, with writing marked by emotional honesty, theological depth, and an abiding conviction that every person’s story matters.